man of sorrow

A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.

For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.

Therefore, the one who is angry is the fool.  Equally, the one who stirs him to anger is also a fool.  In simple terms, it ‘takes two to tango.’  Oh, that we weren’t all so foolish.  Myself more than any other…

Much of the following was taken from  allAboutLifeChallenges.org.  I interjected as I saw fit.   Aside from dealing with my own anger, I have been very interested in this since we began discussing cognitive, psychosocial, and biosocial development in the emerging adult years through mortem.

Anger Management Techniques – The Roots of Anger
You can learn anger management techniques, regardless of the cause of your anger. Admitting the fact that your anger is out-of-control is essential to tackling the problem. Excessive anger can be caused by health problems, family issues, drug or alcohol abuse, financial despair, extreme fear or stress, and spiritual void (undoubtedly the greatest issue of all mentioned). Uncontrolled anger results in added troubles to your life. But you can control your anger! Controlling your anger is a choice you can make!

Anger Management Techniques – Effects
Uncontrolled anger has long-term emotional and physical effects on our body.

• Physical effects: Anger causes injury, increased adrenalin surges, high blood pressure, and increased heart rate; possibly producing stroke, and heart attacks.
• Emotional effects: Anger creates intense guilt, feelings of failure, depression, constant agitation, violent rage, and possibly suicide.

Chronic Anger in Men
In a recent longitudinal study on chronic anger following men between the age of 45 and 86 years of age over an eight year period, using questionnaires regarding hostility, suspiciousness, cynicism, resentment, and mistrust, and regular physical checkups every few years, the following was found:

• There is a “preexisting relationship” between health degradation
  • Specifically with the effects of stress (physical stress on body caused by psychological and psychological response to anger) on the respiratory system.
  • Participants had below normal lung function prior to study (none were smokers)
  • Rate of decline of lung function was steeper than the norm
  • Prospective positively correlating evidence of relationship between hostile personality and declining health overall 

Anger Management Techniques – Choices
Anger is a very strong emotion. Uncontrolled anger is a life-long pattern. It is not easy to overcome anger; it requires determined commitment. It requires honesty, courage, and tremendous inner strength. It also requires help from others. To overcome anger, these steps are important:

• Consciously determine to be calm. Don’t react, think! Remember your goals and respond appropriately. Choose to remain calm!
• Communicate. When someone upsets you, tell them. Calmly talk to them about how you feel about their words or actions. Learn to express yourself better — clear and composed. Choose to!
• Remove yourself from the scene until you can respond without anger.  Your success will not happen overnight. Take it one step at a time, one day at a time. Remember to relax. Relaxation exercises or music can be helpful. Keep in mind you can reach out to someone you trust for help. Choose to!
• Frequently take time for yourself. Do something you enjoy like walking in the park, swimming, reading the Bible, or seeing a feel-good movie. Do something nice for someone you admire. It’s okay to feel good about yourself. Choose to!
  • This must be added…  FREQUENTLY TAKE TIME FOR GOD.  Read His word, pray to Him, and ACCEPT the forgiveness that He offers.  Holding on to guilt is, effectively, nullifying the act of forgiveness.  It is terribly difficult not to hold on, because spiritual forces that are not of God will do all that they can to keep the burden on you rather than let you be set free as Christ intended by His action.  Is your burden not easy and light?  If it is, then you are shouldering your burden rather than His…
• Look for the positives. Don’t dwell on the negatives. “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” Learn to be forgiving. This is difficult, but we need to start by learning to forgive ourselves!

Anger Management Techniques – Gaining Perfect Peace
A person having difficulty controlling his anger is not a bad person. Anger against ‘wrong’ is not sin! It is no disgrace to admit we have a problem and seek outside help. Peace, and the solution to life’s problems, can only be found by turning to God. There are many Bible verses that deal specifically with anger and its implications. You need to pray for strength and self control to enjoy a life of contentment and joy. You also need to pray to God to remove the darkness of anger controlling you. Choose it! “You (God) will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, whose thoughts are fixed on you!” (Isaiah 26:3-4). 

Scriptural Insight:

 James 1:19-20 –  My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.

1 Corinthians 13:4-5 –  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Proverbs 15:1 –  A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 25:28 –  Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.

Proverbs 30:33 – For as churning the milk produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife.

Galatians 5:22-25 – But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Ephesians 4:25-32 – Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin“: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with his own hands, that he may have something to share with those in need.  Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.